This one thing ...

Somewhere between like and love lies the friendship between a man and a woman. It can be straightforward, or not so straightforward. There is often attraction, even if it is platonic. Importantly, even for those who prefer the same sex, it is always different than friendships between those of the same sex. There is a balance that can be achieved between men and women in friendship that cannot be achieved elsewhere. Temperments and attatudes and perspectives are different. It is good, it can be unpredictable and it is wonderful.

But what if there happens to be more? What then? Can a friendship, that is more than a friendship, (to one or to both friends) survive?

In hope ...

A thought on chivalry

A man, whether submissive or dominant, should always be chivalric. Whatever a man's power persuasion, his heart must be true and his respect for women paramount.


Champions are not the people who never fail, but the people who never quit ...

Only in my Dreams

Barkeep pour me one last shot
Cos I must be on my way
Better make that same old stop
That the soul makes every day
Tell me why am I holding on
Having white love like a flame
Burn’s you when it’s hot
Even fire trucks can’t abate
I can’t bend the hands of time
So I think myself to sleep
Where you never say goodbye
If only in my dreams

Tell me where you want to go
Tell me what you long to be
How you’re longing for my touch
If only in my dreams
Sing the love songs you want sung
Touch the stars you want to reach
And I will see the job gets done
If only in my dreams

Would I sacrifice my eyes
Nothing else I’d rather see
You can have my heart
It’s of little use to me
If you want my soul
Ill throw it in for free
It’s all I’m worth that’s left
Since my angel got her wings

Now I’m down and on my knees
It’s of little use to pray
Unless you give her back
There’s no deals cut these days
You’re only in my dreams

Tell me where you want to go
Tell me what you long to be
How you’re longing for my touch
If only in my dreams
Sing the love songs you want sung
Touch the stars you want to reach
And I’ll see the job gets done
If only in my dreams

Now I praise the daytime
When I’m alone at night time
Cos I saw the sunshine
Just for you
And I know that where you are
There aint no pain there aint no tears
And if I have my way
The moment I give in

Take me where you want to go
You’ll be who you want to be
All I needed was your touch
All I want is you and me
Sing the love songs you want sung
And you’ll be in my dreams
Until the world is won
It’s only in my dreams

The many kinds of Love

The Inuit have more than a hunderd words for snow. That is the misconception at any rate. Firstly there are many 'Eskimo' or ' Eskimo-Aleut' languages, not one. Secondly, they have an equal number of snow related concepts as people of other northern hemisphere languages do. Because Eskimo languages are polysynthetic, they describe concepts in compound terms or 'words' of unlimited length. So it may seem like they have more ideas about snow, but it is misleading. The reason anybody points out that Eskimos have many words for snow is to highlight differences between their view of the world and those of other cultures. It is also used to point out our limitations when it comes to language.

Take this one for example. English, or rather the Common Tongue of the western world (that may in fact be misleading in itself as many Spanish speakers will attest), is a rather limited language to express oneself in. There really arent that many satisfactory swear words, or curses. There are few examples of how to discribe hunger and there is only one word for love.

Do we love everybody we know in the same way? Hardly. So how do you go about expressing it? Language is perhaps not the best method of expressing such a feeling anyway, but our society would frown upon those who would greet their friends with a rough embrace every time they met!

When your only method of remaining in touch with certain people is through phone calls, text messages and the internet, language becomes the only tool with which you can work. And it can lead to misunderstandings. It can be easy to read too much into particular words and phrazes, or too little.

So, tread carefully, for you only have one heart to break ...

Other Interests

I have too many other interests! Between my creative side, my business side, my teaching side and my keep fit side, I hardly have time to scratch my nose, yet alone search for my one true Lady! But I will carry on regardless.

I don't sleep much these days, which is silly, especially when working out, attending yoga classes and being on my feet all day. I enjoy the challenge though, and for the few I do give my precious sleeping-time up for, I do so out of gratitude that they would do the same for me.

No one has any time anymore. Everyone is busy, all the time. So, when someone takes a little time out of their busy day to converse with me, I am grateful for it.

Remember to thank those who do that for you.

Being an account of how time has no meaning in a world that simply refuses to remain linear ...

For as long as I can remember, I have felt submissive in the presence of strong women. It never made sense to me. Of course, I can recognise it now as the natural state in which I belong, but for the longest time, I was confused by it, even ashamed by it.

I blame the society in which I was brought up for that. It is an overly masculine patriarchy and I dislike it thoroughly. By contrast, in ancient times, women enjoyed equal status to men in my country. It is ludicrous that organised religion, which claimed to free the souls of the people from the chains of paganism, led to the virtual enslavement (and not the kind that is consciously chosen!) of women within their own homes. As a result, even the tide of modernisation that has swept across our land with crushing changes in its wake, cannot undo in so short a time the backwardness that befalls my society when it comes to full equal rights.

The long and short of it is this:

Women still have a long way to go towards equality.

In their efforts to define what is feminine, they have in turn defined what is masculine (though this was in many ways determined by a patriarchal culture long ago).

Men are left with a set of outdated rules and guidelines that no longer apply in these changing times.

Men (and indeed women) who feel themselves constrained by definitions and expectations handed down to them and reflected back upon them, have no real place in this society.

Therefore those of us who are out of the loop, so to speak, must seek out others who are in a similar (or at least a comparable) position. This must needs be done by unorthodox means – Munches, the Internet, magazines, personal adds, etc.

But, what if a persons past is filled with shame for feelings that he could not explain at the time. What if the world has moved on to a degree, but his inner doubt, his anxieties have not? What then? What if he was to meet a woman who could truly accept him, even want him, for who and what he is?

If it is possible, then how could he prepare himself for her?

Two phrases came to me today from entirely different sources, both of whom mean a lot to me in very different ways:

“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’ "

-and-

"Love me the most, when I deserve it the least, because that's when I need it best."

One word stood out:
“Indebted”.

A new departure ...?

Ok (or is it Okay? I have never been quite sure), I am one for new beginnings, a new start. It has been hard for me to begin this adventure, to pursue this goal. It will grow more difficult, of that I am sure, but I will not relent, will not falter on my chosen path …

So who am I and what is this quest of which I write? I am Althalus, a name I take from that of the greatest thief who ever lived (and was redeemed through self-sacrifice). And from a song I know from long ago that denotes a man claiming to be the ‘thief of hearts’. Thus, the two titles came together rather purposefully in Althalus: Thief of Hearts.

The quest is a personal one. One I will share with you. It is the quest of a man who searches for love, a love of a very special kind; the love of a dominant woman.

Ok (yes, I have chosen this spelling), who is this pompous ass? What is a dominant woman?

First, it is important to address the question, ‘who is it that searches for one?’ For only in knowing that purpose can one presume to know the meaning behind it and to use that to define what is this subject to which the search is truly aimed.

I do not know what a dominant woman is. I seek that which I do not understand, but which I must. I thought I knew, once. Then I met one, and what I thought I knew altered. Then I met another, and it altered still more. Those I have met, and there have been several, I have met online, and thus I have no true understanding of them as women, but only as that which they incarnate within the confines of scripted meaning.

Tonight I contemplate the possibilities of what was, what is and what may yet be. Tonight, all things are possible. Tonight, I am but a man in search of something that will fulfil me, but I know that a large part of my search without must be aided by an even deeper search within. Why do I desire this? What is it that makes me so? What kind of woman can truly take me to a place where I can realise myself?

A lucky one, perhaps …